Solaria Divina

Category: Philosophy

  • Femininity uncaged 

    We are not dolls. We have divinity within us. We are not flawless, but we can embrace the freedom that comes from vitality, from expression, and from a deep connection with our bodies and our power. Luxurious is the life filled with rich experiences, love, self empowerment, learning and creativity.

    The first cage is a cage of refinement. On the outside a refined woman looks composed, like she carries power well, like she handles all of life’s challenges gracefully while retaining soft edges. What you don’t see is that she is forced to be extremely self reliant, to keep pain and anger on a short leash, to repress emotions in order to manage the emotions of those around her. It takes constant monitoring and very narrow, very heavy psychological controls to do this. Some of us are brought up to feel this is natural, but on some level it hurts all of us.

    The second cage is a cage of commodification. Aesthetics like clean girl, tied to conservative concepts of femininity and traditional wifehood, coquette which leans into girlish and playful sensibilities, and cottage core, our designed to force us into categories. Brands lean on these trends to sell, and many of us feel uncomfortable if any part of our aesthetic doesn’t match a currently dominant trend, so we end up feeling pressured to alter our presentation. This makes it hard to be totally genuine. Compliance is packaged as creativity and we lose our input.

    The third cage is a cage of performative desirability. Your mother told you to wear the shapewear, never leave the house without a bra, keep your skin flawless, never have visible body hair. Then society gave you tight skimpy clothing, but contradicted with a message to never sit with relaxed legs. They gave you diet culture, spiked heels, and a million products to keep you looking like you are as close to 17 as possible. Make yourself pretty, be available but not too available, keep silent and flawless. Within this cage there can be a sense of power. You can use looks to game the system. But again you cannot make a mistake. You cannot have slightly stained teeth because you enjoy your morning coffee, chipped nail polish, or eyebrows that aren’t a perfect match. You can’t enjoy food because you are always chasing social approval of your body.

    The fourth cage is a cage of denial. It’s the last one that can appear when the other three have been intentionally evaded. They don’t just shrug off the suffocating strictures of the cultural definition of femininity, but the joy and power that can come with it as well. A commanding feminine presence can transform the energy in a room. She’s not just pretty and polished. There is a clear and personal art to her beauty. Maybe she goes in for 20s style crystal jewelry, sequined dresses, and detailed sparkly manicures. Maybe she’s the girl in the dark red lipstick and the gold silk wrapped dress who doesn’t bother to modulate her laughter. Maybe she’s the girl who can handle herself in a fight but shows up in a satin dress under a leather trenchcoat. She’s the warm, living, sensual woman who actually embodies her power. In the cage of denial, you miss out on all that in an effort to avoid suffocation. To me this looks like functional baggy clothing, utilitarian footwear, no aesthetic instinct. There is relief in absence which is understandable.

    All of these cages have an insidious trick, like the food in a mouse trap. They temporarily let you feel really good if you succeed within them. But they cut you off from your real power, your goddess energy. You are not weak, passive, receptive, or purely ornamental. You can be strong, outspoken, warm, vivacious, and sensual. You can enjoy all that life has to offer. But if you don’t know what you are giving up, the prizes within these cages can seem like the best thing possible. Respectability, social approval, power without apparent aggression, or just the peace and relief of the seeming absence of a cage. You don’t have to sacrifice the feminine power with an all of us just to shrug off the various methods of containment that have been devised for you.

  • Sacred service Pt 2: civic responsibility

    I touched on this a little in my peace about sharing beauty with the world around us. We create that beauty through supporting libraries and museums, patronizing small businesses in our areas, participating in neighborhood cleanup projects and public art. We have in my mind a moral responsibility, without regarding those we are assisting as lesser, without seeking attention for our good works, and without burning ourselves out screaming about issues, to make our little corners of the world better places. That energy flows outward. We can do this as acts of devotion to our gods. Life is interconnected, even our planet has body, mind, and spirit just like we do. from the sun to the gods to the spirits that inhabit blades of grass, down to Adams with their electrical currents, everything is sentient.

    We can witness the social trials of the world without dissolving into them. We don’t need to exist in a constant state of burden and burnout. Instead, we can have space for our own happiness and exercise our agency in a real way that counts on a local level.  If the first part of the series was about nourishing our inner flame, this is about taking that warmth into the world around us physically. 

    I sat on the front steps of an old house many years ago, listening to the story of one blended family across multiple generations, hearing about the compounding circumstances they had had, the challenges they had faced. I was with a group that was engaged in cleanup in the neighborhood of Evergreen bottom in Birmingham Alabama.  We were sweeping sidewalks, cleaning up overgrown brush, removing trash. When I compare this moment to the performed distress online, I feel like we give ourselves emotional exhaustion without really changing anything these days. Another moment that gave me immense joy was working in a high school in Leland Mississippi. We washed windows, dusted books, repainted movable stage walls, and talked with the students who were there participating in the work. One moment I remember clearly was cleaning up an old water fountain that no one believed worked, and it actually did.   I think seeing their school renewed maybe gave those kids some hope, some sense that the world could actually be a better place. What we got in return, as college kids from a nice school in Illinois, was a different perspective on life. Things weren’t easy for them, but they knew how to connect with each other in positive ways. And they wanted the world to be a better place for everyone.  Despite their own difficulties they were willing to step up and work to better their own community.  I feel like now, we spend so much time being angry, burning ourselves out, and maybe that communication gets more of us thinking in the right direction, but how does it actually turn into real world change on a micro level? Because that kind of change comes from small acts with consistency. There were many other projects but another that hits close to home for me philosophically is working in a cemetery, where the last burial took place in 1984, on the side of a steep hill in Weston West Virginia. I could feel many individual energies of people who were there. So cleaning off their gravestones, getting rid of old brush, washing the steps that climbed the hill, felt like honoring them.  We should honor the places we live in, and the people we share those places with, as we are all divine. 

    I feel we could step back from the cycles of performed distress, and instead create cumulative change through small consistent actions that honor ourselves, the Earth, humanity and our gods. They’re absolutely must be spaces for anger, empathy, grief and joy. We do not have to sacrifice who we are, doing what we love, or taking care of ourselves. We just have to step up.

  • Sacred Service pt1: rituals of self-care and love

    Many traditions contend that we have divinity within ourselves and I fully agree. These rituals are comforting, indulgent, and personally devotional, and for nourishing our inner flame. Nature and the gods live within us, and through them we have inherited a divine spark.

    Keeping a small altar to self, and incorporating elements of who you are into a larger spiritual shrine are good ways to get started. On my altar there are candleholders, offering cups, and crystal plates assigned to the divine feminine side, on the left, and divine masculine side, on the right. But the elements that are there for me are a third centered candleholder, a small heart shaped jewelry box for love manifestation, and another rectangular small box for money manifestation. The overall color scheme is warm and inviting. I chose materials like bone, crystal, ceramic, cut glass to fit my aesthetic. Then my nightstand is somewhat of the altar to self. You can put a favorite scented candle here, a photograph of yourself from a moment that makes you proud. Mine currently has my favorite hand lotion, a vintage glass dish in a warm amber color, and a jewelry box where I keep my spiritual pieces. The glass dish frequently holds crystals I’m working with, a few pieces of chocolate, lip treatment.

    Taking care of your body is an ongoing act of devotion. Working out releases hormones that make us feel good. Even just a meditative walk can do this. Consuming foods that nourish our bodies, as well as those that help us emotionally regulate, or just enjoy the day, is also part of this. Bath products with fragrances you enjoy for your shower, daily skin and hair care, fragrant body lotion, even your initial morning cup of coffee, are ways to physically nourish that internal divine spark. Sing in private to your favorite music. Dance for fun.

    Ritual baths, with relaxing music, scented candles, fragrant bath products, water safe crystals for energy work, and a lack of distracting phone notifications, are one of my favorite ways to work on myself. this is about giving yourself a safe space focused on nothing but your sensory indulgence.. some people bring in a glass of wine. I like a bottle of Perrier mineral water or a thermos of hot chocolate. I will often play an instrumental harp or piano playlist on my phone, which has been set on do not disturb so no one bothers me. The candles or wax melts I choose are usually scented with things like oak, cedar, suede, and musk. My bath products usually have things like sandalwood, Amber, vanilla, sugar and caramel. I turn off the lights and distractions, use the stones I’ve brought with, which are personal favorites, to do cleansing and recharging work in the water, and just enjoy the ambience.

    Another specific thing you can do for yourself every morning is a glamour ritual. This doesn’t have to mean makeup although for me it does. I want to encourage you to read into color psychology and color theory, how it has been observed that colors affect the mind, and how colors are actually scientifically defined. The thing is, you should wear colors based on how they affect you. I tend to choose softer or more mellow colors when I’m in a cozy but functional mood. Deeper more vibrant shades and black come out when I have bigger social engagement to deal with. Your wardrobe choices should first, be physically comfortable for you to wear. Second, they should suit your aesthetic mood and how you want to project yourself to the world around you. You build from the baseline outfit with jewelry, bags, favorite perfume or cologne, and makeup if you wear it. This is emotion based dressing, with an eye toward the kind of power and influence you would like to have that day.

    Let’s talk about your morning coffee ritual. More often than not for me this is a cup of hot chocolate, or a cup of cold sweet tea. Take your time with this. Sit by a sunny window, acknowledge the positive things that you look forward to in your day, maybe give thanks to your God or gods for what you have been given. Even just that moment of peace is valuable. If you are inclined to Journal, this is when to do that. If you want music, it doesn’t have to be the soothing reset music you used for your bath, it should be something that reflects your current mood in a stabilizing way. I really like acoustic singer songwriter type music for this, which I often find on unplugged rock albums. Depending on my energy and the atmosphere of the day, this can shift from thoughtful melancholy to warm and relaxing.

    We forget to love ourselves. That’s how the world is designed. But we can reincorporate this in everything we do. That’s why self-care becomes sacred service.

  • Cultivating beauty in the lives of those around us

    I have a powerful belief in our individuality, and that we should always prioritize our happiness as well as our growth. But we have in my opinion a moral obligation to be there for our families, whether blood or chosen, our friends and our communities. Cultivating beauty in the lives of those around us starts on the simplest level, but amounts to being continually considerate of the happiness and well-being of others. Without crossing their boundaries.

    1. Support libraries, museums, and your local music scene. Our depths of creativity and intelligence are priceless. Donate. Encourage people to visit and invest in these things. And as part of your own self-care and growth, take on intellectual pursuits, learn your local history, discover a new creative hobby that you can share with others.
    2. Participate in local cleanup projects, and this might be controversial, but positive public art where aloud. A cleaner, more intentional environment just makes us all feel psychologically better, and more inclined to care about the world around us. I have seen for myself how removing trash and debris from a neighborhood, helping to repair homes, putting up murals and chalk art, can be a breath of fresh air for everyone who lives there.
    3. This starts at home. Be kind to your neighbors, take care of your property, clean up trash in your environment, be kind and validating to your children and respectful of your pets. And remember to do these things for yourself so you have more to give to those you actually care about. You can only control your own actions, but projecting genuine positivity only gives everyone around you an emotional boost. Everyone has to individually choose to care about making things better. But when someone does, it spreads.
    4. Respect the boundaries of others. This is about allowing everyone to have a sense of peace, which does not harm you. The whole neighborhood doesn’t need to hear the music from your car. People having a religious service you disagree with on their own property deserve their space. Neighbors should not have to put up with trash or overgrown vegetation from your property.
    5. Show kindness and hospitality to strangers of all backgrounds, so long as they respect your space and who you are. A healthy community is one where diversity is accepted, and where people can feel welcome no matter their religion, ethnicity, orientation, gender, or whether or not they have body art and crazy hair colors. No social division defines whether or not someone is a good person. Economic status, religion, job title, none of that matters. So some of those people you might be judging are probably amazing.
    6. The last thing I believe should be part of this equation is interspiritual work. Whether you walk with one God or many or just the concept of fate, spiritual belief gives beauty to life as long as it is not being used to negatively impact people who disagree with it, and can open doorways to knowledge and personal connections we otherwise might not receive. 

  • Late night thoughts

    One conflict I’ve always had a hard time with is feeling that different aspects of my nature just don’t make sense together, and it’s not a great feeling. I try to be self-aware and that’s difficult when you feel somewhat internally disconnected. Too edgy to really feel like I belong in elegant spaces. Two elegant to feel welcome in occult spaces. Too loud, opinionated, and conventionally unattractive to really feel socially validated as feminine. But all of these are genuine aspects of my nature. I love silk or cashmere when I can find it secondhand, but I have tattoos. I write poetry, paint and sculpt, but if you knew me in person you would know my conversational style could be called spicy. I am a student of the occult, but I have a somewhat materialistic nature. Because I am all about the richness of life, getting all I can out of this experience since the universe and the gods are going to guide us where we need to go. We have to take agency, that’s our gift and our responsibility simultaneously, but they will get us there. In the meantime I think it’s absolutely fine to try to live for the purpose of enjoying the experience, creating a legacy that made your world a better place, and moving forward with as few regrets as possible.

    Here’s the revelation that hit me a couple of hours ago. I used the phrase your world. What this means is the social structures that are relevant to your experience, not necessarily the big arbitrary ones that have been set up for us all. This means your people, your gods or lack there of, your values. How you frame yourself within your world or your reality. You start with a foundation. Those people you have a genuine connection with. A moral compass that is based on experience and not whatever comes down the ladder of hierarchy we are supposed to climb. I was thinking about how I used to sort of be known as the pagan church lady because I had a very reserved, conservative style. Thinking about this made me realize that it’s not really about how your world sees you. It’s how you see yourself in your world, your framework. So if I want to be that practitioner with spiritual tattoos and a fairly elegant sense of style, then I create that space for myself to exist within my framework. And then all of those pieces can be united potentially, because focusing on your own framework, building your own world around that framework for a visual metaphor, means that the wider, careless, anonymous reality we all share, has less relevance. It’s reclaiming your power, ruling your domain. Then you can do two things. you can refuse access to your world for certain energies, whether that’s people or currents or experiences that you think will negatively impact your personal growth and happiness. And you can begin to manifest what fills this world of yours. I am currently exploring how daydreaming, intentionally living out those experiences in your head, can serve as a basis for manifestation. I know lots of us daydream to get a break from whatever personal circumstances we wish to escape, creating other versions of ourselves to live other lives. But what if it was an idealized version of yourself, with your knowledge, all your good points, with an appearance you actually like, living out things you desire, moments you want to see happen. Perhaps building in a little bit of focus to help channel those daydreams into energy you can put toward making your desires part of your external reality. Maybe it’s a big city condo somewhere warm. Maybe it’s travel. Maybe it’s family dinners on inherited China with children you haven’t met yet. Build yourself into your daydreams so they can be part of your world build.

    A lot of us worry I think about how we are perceived. But I think it might be more important to ask how we want to be perceived only by those who are actually relevant to us and impact our lives. And before that, how we want to perceive ourselves within our own Framework. For me it’s important that how I present actually matches my genuine nature. I believe most of us are scared of who we genuinely are, and so are more willing than we should be to accept messaging that tries to feed on our insecurities and get us to obey Certain rules. And when we are scared of any aspect of ourselves we project that onto everyone and everything around us, so that anything straying beyond what we perceive as normal or right becomes a problem to us. Honestly my thoughts on how to get past this are you have to grow a backbone, look your naked ass in the mirror, be real about the good and the bad of who you are not just by physical appearance, but asking yourself questions like do you trust yourself, what actions have been mistakes and what have you intentionally done wrong, which are two different things, are you willfully choosing to ignore truth in favor of your own opinions, and what’s good about who you are. And then, just stop minding other people’s business. Those people who are personally relevant to you, their valid experience plays a role in how you let them exist within your world, your understanding of reality, because you cannot ignore their truth, and should not ignore your own. You have to find a place where you can both live if there’s conflict, or it’s time to make some space. Everyone has the right to agency, to building their own worlds, and have who they are respected, as long as they are not infringing on those rights for others. You have a right to finding your own happiness, building your own world and identity within it, but so does everyone else. Meanwhile, now that you focused on doing your own internal work, you can enter those parts of yourself you rejected, reckon with the choices you’ve made, and maybe start to build self-respect that is not based on surface level social perceptions or standards set by others. If you are focused on your own happiness and growth, your identity within your world will make sense beautifully, and maybe won’t feel so contradictory when dealing on the outside. Internal contradictions are human, sometimes we can integrate those pieces into a hole or at least figure out how to balance them, but I think the deeper issue is a question you might not have found the answer to about yourself as a hole. And that’s why I think about this stuff at three in the morning.

  • The only boundary of life is death

    What are the most important things needed to live a good life?

    The only boundary of life is death. Within life you do have to create your own framework. This is defining your purpose, building your morality from experience and not from arbitrary sources, and intentionally choosing whether you will follow the roads created by others or cut your own trail through the challenges you will inevitably face. I think it’s always better to do the latter.

    I believe in horizontal morality. This is a set of principles you create based on your experiences. You are not entitled to impose your own morality on others, only to live by those morals. Even if you feel your views are universal or the only right ones, that’s still just your opinion. One thing I believe in but do not always perfectly apply is that spiritual violence should only really be used as a response to aggression. It is a self-defense tool. It is all right to act as the hand of karma to those who have hurt you, but we do not victimize innocent people or someone who has made a simple mistake. But that is just a rule I have for myself. I also believe we owe everyone basic respect and personal agency, including children, as long as they are not harming themselves or others. You are not obligated to fix someone’s problems, you are not obligated to continue associating with someone who has done you wrong or made you uncomfortable, But we can do so much better in the way we relate to each other.

    The purpose of existence to me is to have a good time. To enjoy the life you live to the fullest. To some people that might mean spending every moment in nature. To me that means having as few worries as possible and surrounding myself with beauty. I hope I can travel one day, especially taking scenic train trips around the absolutely beautiful USA. I hope I can afford to have a little place on a lake somewhere that is always warm, where I can swim almost every day of the year. Water is a spiritual tool for me, and swimming is emotionally cathartic. Catharsis is also a spiritual act. That is why I love my music. I think I will always want to surround myself with beautiful things, preferably handmade or creative. what I bring into my life should be symbolic of where I am on my path and how I view myself, and should have memories connected to it.

    Finally I do believe that a good life involves prioritizing your comfort, protecting your peace, and sharing out any type of resource only after you make sure that you are in a good place, especially when it comes to your time and emotions. Obviously it is important to share the love we have and take care of those around us, but we can’t adequately do this if we are living at a deficit while also expending resources for those who might not have built their own yet. Trauma can cause the deficit, or physical poverty. Sometimes the people we are trying to take care of our children and just don’t have the experience they need yet. But sometimes those draining our resources just don’t want to be responsible for how they deal with the world. And that is not our problem.

  • The solar feminine

    I go against Western grain in that I regard the sun is feminine. Most goddess archetypes are tied to creation or destruction, abundance or decay. So is our Sun. Yin is warm and life-giving, and so is our sSun. But she can also destroy, not in a temporary aggressive way, but as part of her process of evolution. I believe that we as women can embody this cycle of entropy and growth as we become the most powerful versions of ourselves. The sun has her own cycles of expansion and diminishment, daily and annually. She plays the long game but with absolute intensity.

    If you’d like to read about goddesses associated with the sun, check out the stories of Hathor, Sulevia, Lakshmi, and Amaterasu. And if you want a few fiery goddesses to read into, Pele, Ognyena, and Sekhmet.

    Every time you dress up to feel beautiful and spend time in the summer sun, you honor the divine solar feminine.

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