Sacred Service pt1: rituals of self-care and love

Many traditions contend that we have divinity within ourselves and I fully agree. These rituals are comforting, indulgent, and personally devotional, and for nourishing our inner flame. Nature and the gods live within us, and through them we have inherited a divine spark.

Keeping a small altar to self, and incorporating elements of who you are into a larger spiritual shrine are good ways to get started. On my altar there are candleholders, offering cups, and crystal plates assigned to the divine feminine side, on the left, and divine masculine side, on the right. But the elements that are there for me are a third centered candleholder, a small heart shaped jewelry box for love manifestation, and another rectangular small box for money manifestation. The overall color scheme is warm and inviting. I chose materials like bone, crystal, ceramic, cut glass to fit my aesthetic. Then my nightstand is somewhat of the altar to self. You can put a favorite scented candle here, a photograph of yourself from a moment that makes you proud. Mine currently has my favorite hand lotion, a vintage glass dish in a warm amber color, and a jewelry box where I keep my spiritual pieces. The glass dish frequently holds crystals I’m working with, a few pieces of chocolate, lip treatment.

Taking care of your body is an ongoing act of devotion. Working out releases hormones that make us feel good. Even just a meditative walk can do this. Consuming foods that nourish our bodies, as well as those that help us emotionally regulate, or just enjoy the day, is also part of this. Bath products with fragrances you enjoy for your shower, daily skin and hair care, fragrant body lotion, even your initial morning cup of coffee, are ways to physically nourish that internal divine spark. Sing in private to your favorite music. Dance for fun.

Ritual baths, with relaxing music, scented candles, fragrant bath products, water safe crystals for energy work, and a lack of distracting phone notifications, are one of my favorite ways to work on myself. this is about giving yourself a safe space focused on nothing but your sensory indulgence.. some people bring in a glass of wine. I like a bottle of Perrier mineral water or a thermos of hot chocolate. I will often play an instrumental harp or piano playlist on my phone, which has been set on do not disturb so no one bothers me. The candles or wax melts I choose are usually scented with things like oak, cedar, suede, and musk. My bath products usually have things like sandalwood, Amber, vanilla, sugar and caramel. I turn off the lights and distractions, use the stones I’ve brought with, which are personal favorites, to do cleansing and recharging work in the water, and just enjoy the ambience.

Another specific thing you can do for yourself every morning is a glamour ritual. This doesn’t have to mean makeup although for me it does. I want to encourage you to read into color psychology and color theory, how it has been observed that colors affect the mind, and how colors are actually scientifically defined. The thing is, you should wear colors based on how they affect you. I tend to choose softer or more mellow colors when I’m in a cozy but functional mood. Deeper more vibrant shades and black come out when I have bigger social engagement to deal with. Your wardrobe choices should first, be physically comfortable for you to wear. Second, they should suit your aesthetic mood and how you want to project yourself to the world around you. You build from the baseline outfit with jewelry, bags, favorite perfume or cologne, and makeup if you wear it. This is emotion based dressing, with an eye toward the kind of power and influence you would like to have that day.

Let’s talk about your morning coffee ritual. More often than not for me this is a cup of hot chocolate, or a cup of cold sweet tea. Take your time with this. Sit by a sunny window, acknowledge the positive things that you look forward to in your day, maybe give thanks to your God or gods for what you have been given. Even just that moment of peace is valuable. If you are inclined to Journal, this is when to do that. If you want music, it doesn’t have to be the soothing reset music you used for your bath, it should be something that reflects your current mood in a stabilizing way. I really like acoustic singer songwriter type music for this, which I often find on unplugged rock albums. Depending on my energy and the atmosphere of the day, this can shift from thoughtful melancholy to warm and relaxing.

We forget to love ourselves. That’s how the world is designed. But we can reincorporate this in everything we do. That’s why self-care becomes sacred service.